Most days I struggle to write.
Why?
Sometimes I've got writer's block.
I'm busy with church activities.
I'm busy cleaning. (ha!)
Because I'm simply feeling lazy and would rather spend all day watching House Hunters or Gilmore Girls.
Sometimes I actually manage to park myself in front of the laptop with the document open, my fingers assuming the position, and still I struggle.
Why?
No matter what amazingly brilliant excuse I've got going, at the root of it is fear. Despite people telling me that I'm a good writer or going out of their way to cheer me on, I struggle.
I'm sure it's typical writer behavior, but I'm often paralyzed by it.
I constantly joke about how lazy I am, but here's the thing. If I knew for sure that I'd finish one or both of these manuscripts, that I'd be published and successful, well, I'd probably have to be pried from that laptop every single night in order to get any sleep. I'd lose 20 pounds from not eating. The apartment would look like Katrina blew through. I'd forget what day it was.
I'm actually not lazy at all. I'm just paralyzed.
This post is going in an entirely different direction than I meant for it to go. Originally I was planning on posting some of my favorite quotes that help to motivate me as a writer, but I think I'll save those for another day and just end with this one, since it fits:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~Marianne Williamson
5 comments:
Great quote and yeah, no doubt of your abilities you just need to figure out how to close the deal. I used to think it was all about getting published (and don't get me wrong, it would be great if it could help me live an easier/better life) but it's about doing yourself justice too. I mean look how close you are to finishing the fantasy book. I have long said, you need to send it out ---send out 3 chapters and see where it goes. I don't care if you send them snail mail, email or by horse, just pick 5 places and go ahead and do it. You have nothing to lose. Go ahead and give yourself a week to research 5 different publishers, then send it out. Who knows, you might get valuable feedback and if you send it to the "wrong" one, don't worry, they'll tell you! Think of it as a way to get over your fears, and who knows, you might get a pleasant surprise.
I'd like to make some money at writing, hence the focus on publication.
I don't see the point in sending out chapters because if an agent or publisher likes them enough to request a full manuscript then I won't have one to send. They're not going to wait around for 6 months while I finish it.
Even if I didn't want to get published I'd definitely want to complete both of my writing projects. I wouldn't be satisfied otherwise.
You could be working on it after you send out the 3 chapters. I've had friends send stuff out and it's a 4-6 month wait to hear anyway. It may not be that long, but I thought you were close to being done anyway? Maybe you'll see it clearer when your script is done or someone at the conference can convince you. :-) I don't think gageing interest is ever a bad thing and it will motivate you to finish knowing a response could be on it's way.
Anyway, hope the conference is fun and motivates you.
ETA: It wouldn't let me post with anything other than a goggle account now (which I have but forgot the password for) It used to let me just put Cin but when I try now, it resets to log in with goggle account
I plan on hitting up agents first and I think you hear back from them sooner. It's hard to gauge how much I have left to do because I don't know how many rounds of rewriting I'll end up doing.
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